My dad was a social worker – he spent nearly 40 years as a supervisor with the Department of Children and Family Services in Illinois (my mom also started out as a social worker but changed her occupation to full-time mother when I was born).

For the most part, Dad shielded us from the cases he handled at work. We knew that he tried to help families with problems – problems that often lead to children being emotionally or physically abused. However, we were mostly spared the descriptions of the abuse or the environment in which the child was abused.

He would often get calls at home on the weekend from social workers asking advice or permission on an emergency case. When my brothers or I asked him for details about what was going on, he would say that he couldn’t talk about specifics of the case because it was confidential and that all we needed to know was that a child needed to be quickly moved away from his or her parents because the parents were hurting the child.

In hindsight, I now realize Dad was trying to spare his kids from hearing how bad people can be.

But every once in a while we would hear the details of a case. This was usually the result of a high profile abuse case that was being covered in the media and which Dad was asked to comment on. These were usually extreme cases (like the abuse case in Miller County, Missouri, that has been in the news) in which something horrible had been done to a child.

Because he had to be more open to the public, Dad felt more obligated to speak and explain the situation to us.

What my siblings and I learned, from an early age, is that humans can do some really ugly things to other humans – even if they are of their own blood. Despite my father’s attempts, I’ve seen pictures of black-and-blue infants and read the horrifying descriptions of the physical abuse toddlers have endured.

This was in stark contrast from my childhood. I grew up in a middle-class neighborhood, with a loving mom and dad and siblings that were well adjusted. My world couldn’t have been further removed from the world that my father worked with every day. If Dad’s occupation hadn’t exposed this to me, I probably would have assumed every family’s biggest problem was making their kids do their homework.

I think this has always made me more grateful and understanding of the importance of creating a good home life for my children.

If there is one piece of knowledge that you take away from learning about child abuse, it's that it is circular – a curse given from parent to child. If you were hurt as a child, there’s a good chance you are going to hurt your own children when you grow up. The simple explanation for this occurrence of repetitive abuse is that the child who grows to be an abuser knows only one way to raise a child – the way he or she was raised.

I have no idea if the Brumley, Mo., man who has been charged for sexually abusing his 5-month-old daughter was abused as a kid. But odds are he was in some form or another. This doesn’t excuse what he did – I think he has to be held accountable for the horrible acts he has committed. I think if found guilty he should get the maximum sentence allowed.

But from my vantage point, this crime saddens me more than makes me angry (and it does make me angry). Because this was such a violent act, it was probably not a first time offense by the man. There were undoubtedly many signs along the way (even as far back as when the abuser was a child) that someone or some system should have picked up on. If those signs had been reported, maybe the assault on this poor girl could have been prevented.

Whether it had been by an intervening social worker or teacher when this man was being abused as a child himself (again assuming he was) or, more recently, by a neighbor or friend who noticed the living conditions of the family residence, this could have been forecasted and prevented.

With a case like this, there is only one piece of silver lining that you hope to create – that people become more informed and open to talking about child abuse. It happens. It happens everywhere and it will continue to happen no matter what efforts are made. But the way to minimize the number of children abused is to stop the cycle.

We as a community need recognize and report children who may be abused so that their parents may get help to correct their behavior and those children who are abused may get help in order that they don’t repeat their parent’s sins.

Contact Lake Media publisher John Tucker at john.tucker@lakesunonline.com