Thought, scribbles and stolen text-message jokes regarding Super Bowl XXVLXVIXCSI, which ended in a satisfying win for an iconic American city that has endured unfathomable hardships, and will, if there is any justice, spend the next five days drinking itself into a state of eyes-crossed, pants-whizzing oblivion. Sorry, it's all I can work up at this late hour, as it’s important to hear the winning franchise's 275-year-old owner share his thoughts on the victory because people really “heart” owners. Also, FYI, however long you think it takes to scrub a couple of bowls of queso out of the couch, it's like six times that.
- As happens nearly every year, a 30-second TV commercial featuring a guy barely old enough to drink but who can throw a football straight caused me to adjust my entire stance on a major moral issue. Last year, of course, it was Eli Manning warning me about the dangers of sexting.
- How about that interception from Indiana University graduate Tracy Porter, much-needed proof that they have those in the NFL. (Call me for directions to the practice field, Scouts of America!)
• According to TV, I, as a dude, do not spend nearly enough time thinking about the care and quality of my skin, which is entirely true, as I have never in my life exfoliated or moisturized anything important. So no, Commercial That Ran Six Times At A Cost Of Six Million Dollars To Jergens Or Whatever, I am not yet comfortable in my own skin. And I'm not alone: "I'm about two beers away from being comfortable in my own skin," cracked my friend Jason, while he was being much funnier than me.
- Bears repeating: Banned for the 2010-11 season: Celebrating yourself on the field when you have completed the simple task that you have come to the game to complete. I think I saw a guy engage in a three- to four-minute version of the "Thriller" video because he tackled the punt returner, and while I’m glad he managed to complete this near-impossible task, it is hard to imagine what else he would have been doing on the field at the time.
- Anyone else think the halftime show contained an inordinate amount of Pete Townshend belly? I'm going to avoid the jokes about The Who being old, or about the number of my grandmother's friends who Roger Daltrey resembles, but seriously, a little tucked shirt action next time, fellas. "The Constitution's been rewritten twice since these guys started," said Jason, who was totally on fire all night, while I sat there turning myself into a potato-skins storage unit.
